LLOG BLOG #30: Progress is a State of Mind, Dude. / January 13, 2019 by Matt Everett

The LOGMAN STUDIOS have been all abuzz! The new year offers new opportunities:

“Water Tower Logman #2” Logman Industries Intl, 2018. Oil on Linen, 19” x 24".”

“Logman Cloud #3” Logman Industries Ltd, 2019. Oil on Panel, 8-1/8” x 4-3/4.”

Sketch. (apparently, not liked by LMI Editing Division.)

Here are two things that made me laugh:

More bathroom art. Artist: We don’t know.

Ham. Artist: Betty Crocker, I think. (This also made me laugh. I don’t know why.)

Here are a few photos we found in the LOGMAN ARCHIVE from Long Beach, WA:

Pretty flowers and a cool-colored trailer.

Here’s the newest LLOG BLOG SECTION: COOL GRAFFITI!

Ghosts on a “No Stops” sign. Artist: Philip Guston (I think).

Political Tag? Or just a plain old opinion?

Awwww. That’s so NICE! Fans are always welcome!

THIS JUST IN: That last one was made by an LMI ACCREDITED ARTIST and was not real graffiti. :-(

Do something nice for someone today! Don’t wait to start that project… Start RIGHT NOW! & Have a LOGGY WEEK!

LLOG BLOG #29: A Llog Blog a Week in 2019: #1: Preparations / January 7, 2019 by Matt Everett

Hello and Happy 2019! The LOGMAN INDUSTRIES FAMILY is very excited for 2019. Stay tuned for more great LLOG BLOGS throughout the year…YEAH 2019.

LLOG BLOG #28: Painting Pictures is a hard business. / October 21, 2018 by Matt Everett

Oh wonderful autumn time! It’s a great time to get your favorite wool scarves and sweaters out (probably with patches on the elbows) and your artsy hats of choice, and hit the street for first Thursday, Friday, Saturday…(whatever your art opening night is at the galleries once a month).

Yes, art is in the air! So this week, LOGMAN INDUSTRIES is dedicating the LLOG BLOG to the recognition of the trials, tribulations and ultimate ecstasy of the best form of art: PAINTING! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)

But first, here is a picture of some leaves on the street.

Leaves on a street. Fall. ( Not a painting.)

That reminds me, LMI recently had an LMI: Aesthetics Division R&D Group with boots on the ground in NYC… probably working on R&D. (that means “research and development.”)

Here are some items of interest:

Ooooooh. Marble fountain thing at The Jane hotel in NYC. (Not a painting)

This place looks like somewhere directly lifted from a Wes Anderson movie.

frame from “Rushmore.” A Wes Anderson Movie. (not a painting) (Though, his movies are painterly. I recommend “The Grand Budapest Hotel” for some good examples. Or any of his movies, really. Really.

Wow, Check out the carpet in the elevator:

Carpet in the Elevator (NYC). (Also, not a painting.)

Meanwhile, LMI: LLOG BLOG NEWS TEAM sent a crew up to NEW ENGLAND (Connecticut, to be precise) to do some research for a few autumn-based posts. Let’s check in with them:

Connecticut State Mental Hospital: abandoned building. (That is FREAKY!) (not a painting.)

Yes, that is a little spooky, to say the least! However, a few quality members of the crew were able to bring some levity to the situation:

Aunt Joanne: “Watch out. That last step is a real DOOZIE!” (not a painting)

Nephew Matthew: “watch out. THAT last step is DOOZIER.” (also, not a painting)

Ha. Ha. These crew members get an A+ this week. High5’s all around.

(Side note: Doozers are the poor-bastard things on Fraggle Rock that would build these little building thingies all day and night (not that they knew, because they were in a frickin cave) only to have them constantly destroyed and eaten by Fraggles.)

Doozers: Poor-bastard Things (not a painting)

Next up, here is the LLOG BLOG READER FAVORITE: THE ART BOOK OF THE WEEK! (did we already do this one in a previous episode?)

Here it is. WHAM!:

“Ungrateful Mammals” by David Eggers. (Also, not a painting. Doesn’t even have paintings in it.)

This next one might qualify as a painting. A painting on a towel or something.

This one was in Connecticut, too. The store it was in smelled like a pumpkin-potpourri baseball bat hitting you right in the nostrils by Aaron Judge. Delicious, but perhaps a bit much.

Here’s a photo taken from the highway at 63 mph:

Cobalt, Connecticut. Sign. (not a painting.)

Cobalt, coincidentally, is a rich blue color with a long history. I thought it became popular in the 1500s, but maybe not. LMI: COLOR STUDIES DEPT will have to do some more reading on this subject.

This (Keith Richards-looking dude pointing at it) may or may not be cobalt blue. Sorry Raphael. (THIS IS A PAINTING!)

LMI: PRODUCTION AND CONSTRUCTION DEPT: ATLANTA promises us that they are working day in and out to get more canvases to the LMI: ART PRODUCTION DEPT: AESTHETICS & PAINTING DIVISION: PARIS people as soon as possible (ASAP). Just in case, let’s check in on the ATLANTA crew:

Blue tape Dark Knight on a rafter square. (not a painting)

Poplar stretcher frames. Probably for canvas. (not a painting, but will be one day.) (wink. wink. nudge. nudge.)

Yep. Working hard.

(BTDub: Why are we paying freight to send these things from Atlanta to Paris? Doesn’t anyone in Paris know how to make these motherfuckers? LMI: ACCOUNTING AND LOGICAL BUSINESS STUFF DEPT: VANCOUVER, BC, Please look into this by next week.)

And you… YOU, THE LOGG BLOG READER should be encouraged to work hard this week on being cool to your neighbor. Take time to make something awesome… or just okay, even. It will make you feel better, we promise!

Don’t look at social media too much this week, either. But when you do, follow @logmanindustries on Instagram. There’s a lot of cool shit on there.

Have a great day and HAVE A LOGGY WEEK!*

*Still legally obligated to say this every week.

LLOG BLOG #27: The "Brat Trot": The October Running of the Wieners / October 7, 2018 by Matt Everett

Yes! This is our FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR here at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES. The changing of the leaves in our northern offices, the sports in our eastern offices, the squash in our central offices and the seasonal beers in our… well… all of our offices!

Just kidding. We have a policy against beer… or anything fun in our work areas.

October in our Boston offices: Break Time?

Let’s get directly into it! Why waste time? Let’s just start the first portion of the program right now…I mean why wait until later? Let’s just get it going…HA! (oh that bit never get’s old, right? Ha! HA!)

Anyways… First item of business for LLOG BLOG #27:

Remember when LMI: LLOG BLOG reported on some painting work LMI: Creative Aesthetics and Cultural Group: Atlanta (LMI:CACGA) did featuring some images from the painter Michelangelo Merisi aka Caravagggio?

“Head of Medusa” c. 1598-1599, Caravaggio: RAD!

Well, LMI:CACGA didn’t do that one, but here is the painting from which LMI:CACGA are working for their new project: “The Magical Things that Hill Billies See” Project…

Detail from “The Musicians” c. 1595-1596

They used this “Musicians” image to start the second painting in the series “The Magical Things that Hill Billies See” …

“Mama, That Stone Dun’ Look Like it got a Caravaggio Face on It, Don’t it?”

Well, LMI:CACGA, Looks like that painting “got a drip on it, don’t it?” HA! HA! HA!

Seriously though, clean it up. And put some more details on those fingers. You can barely tell what that is a picture of. We will check in again in a few weeks.

Speaking of checking back in, let’s have a look that one from the LMI: Chicago Sports Aesthetics Something (see LLOG BLOG 25) (LMI:CSAS(sLB25):

(Will someone get Dan from the Chicago offices on the line… tell him to have his staff move all the shit off the shelves before they send in their friggin’ progress photos?!)

Oh… Sorry… I didn’t see you there. Looks like LMI:CSAS(sLB25) still has some work to do. We’ll happily check back in with them once we hear back from Manager Dan Logman up there in the Windy City!

(This just in from Dan: They promise to do better next time.)

Next… Let’s go to the LLOG BLOG READER favorite “LMI: EMPLOYEES’ PICKS OF THE WEEK FOR COOL ART THAT THEY SAW THIS WEEK”

This one is from the Dollar Shave Club thingy: Free Advertising: You’re welcome Dollar Shave Club

This one if from that church called the Sistine Chapel. Michelangelo did this one. (not the Caravaggio one mentioned before, BTW)

The Wiener Runner on the T-Shirts for the Brat Trot Race. Artist: UNKNOWN.

That was GREAT!

We’ve ran out of room for the other LLOG BLOG READER favorite: LMI: TEXT MESSAGE OF THE WEEK. We will report a real BANGER next week for that. Stay tuned.

Well, that’s it for this week. Please check in on Instagram (@logmanindustries) and really, seriously…

Do something nice for someone this week. If everyone did, just once per week, this world would get 150% better. immediately. We promise. We guarantee it.

…And have a LOGGY WEEK!*

*Still legally obligated to say this after all these years.

LLOG BLOG #26: Pumpkin Flavored... EVERYTHING! / September 30, 2018 by Matt Everett

“Look at us. Here we are. Right where we belong. READING THE LLOG BLOG!” -The Muppets

… And we here at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES are happy to have you! Welcome to LLOG BLOG #26. Though everything around you (news, media, your job, your car, etc…) may seem to be utterly falling apart and melting into a giant blob of crap, we want to assure you that MAYBE IT’S NOT! Take a load off and take a look at some of these soothing images from LLOG BLOG Readers around the world!:

Happy Breakfast Face from Jesse R in Vermont, USA!

Beautiful Little Pepper plants from Matt E in Seattle, WA, USA!

Towel Elephant from Matt H in Seattle, WA, USA!

Well, that was nice. And THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU READERS around the WORLD for sending in those interesting and soothing images. LOGMAN INDUSTRIES thank you. And all the people thank you.

Let’s move right into LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: NEW BUSINESS.

We are excited to announce a new artistic direction for the company, spearheaded from out CHICAGO OFFICES of SPORTS LOG IMAGES AND AESTHETICS (OoSLI&A: Chicago). OoSLI&A: Chicago has been interested in creating nice landscape images (of water towers) with images of athletics-themed log-characters on them. Let’s get a sneak peak at the progress:

Ok… that’s just a picture of a water tower with a clown face on it.

… And that’s just an Arizona water tower saying something.

… And this is just a frickin’ picture of Bjorn Borg and Jimmy Connors. Hmm.

Seems like the LLOG BLOG EDITING TEAM was a bit premature on that report from OoSLI&A: Chicago. That’s okay. They will check back in with them in a few weeks. And they promise to do better next time. (smiley face, thumbs up).

Let’s check in with the LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: LMI EMPLOYEE TEXT CONVO OF THE WEEK! This week’s winner is this little “joke” thread between two siblings that have been working at LMI for around 3-5 years. (They have asked that we not use their real names… so let’s just call the older brother “ME” and the younger smart-ass sister “KB”)

12:04pm: KB: Hey did you hear about the West Virginia QB who got accused of using PEDs?

KB: The urine test came back positive but he didn’t take ANYTHING

ME: …

KB: It’s a classic case of he said pee said

ME: I don’t… OH GOD.

ME: Does anyone have a time machine & a chainsaw?

KB: LOL why? So you can go back in time and cut that killer joke out of my brain and have it for yourself?

ME: So I can go back in time 3 min & cut my head off before I read that joke (smiley sunglasses guy, thumbs up)

5:24pm KB: Are you watching PSU football? Killer catch

KB: Also I still think my joke is hilarious in a vacuum

ME: No football for me today… Did you see the news report about the chimpanzee that escaped the zoo and ran directly to a PortoJohn and locked himself in there?

KB: I didn’t. Please tell me more.

ME: Apparently, MONKEY PEE, MONKEY DOO DOO! OMFGJCLMFAOTTM! (22x Laugh/cry face)

KB: You have got to give my joke credit if that’s what you’re coming up with.

ME: I’m giving you 15% creds on that one. & that’s generous. (Smiley sunglasses guy, peace sign hand)

KB: 15%?!

That was fun. We might do that every week! What do you think, LMI READER? Speaking of which, if you have any questions or comments for ANY of our LMI Departments, please hit us up at info@logmanindustries.com or post a message below this LLOG BLOG area. Also check us out on Instagram at @logmanindustries … it’s guaranteed to be well worth your time.

Our LLOG BLOG Editing Department just realized that the title of this week’s LLOG BLOG mentions pumpkins. Well, we don’t have any pics related to that, so here is a happy cloud to close out this week’s entry:

Do something nice for someone this week. Do something creative this week (like draw a happy cloud). And just try to have a LOGGY WEEK!*

*We are legally obligated to say this.

LLOG BLOG #25: 1/4 x 100 = This! / September 23, 2018 by Matt Everett

Paul Hogan: the richest man in Australia.

Welcome back to the Llog Blog! After a short vacation, the LOGMAN TEAM is back and better than ever. We would like to take a minute to catch you up on the last few months before we get to the current issues. Let’s start here:

Even this scary lemon-dude couldn’t scare me into getting this ice cream flavor. GROSS! However, it should be noted that the graphics are LOGMAN APPROVED!

Next, it should be noted that I had a dream last night about a person skating around in MOON-BOOT ROLLER SKATES. (sorry, no images available for that one. Wait… let me check on Google… Nope. Nothin’)

Next, Let’s look at the LOGMAN INDUSTRIES FAILED PROJECT OF THE WEEK (from a few months ago):

Source Material: Raphael’s painting…can’t remember the name. I’ll look in the book later.

We started a division to mimic famous paintings in paintings of water towers, which we were painting in paintings. Why? Because we thought it would look cool.

Well, it didn’t:

Logman Industries oil painting, 29” x 35”

As it turns out, it’s not easy to paint like Raphael. Hmm.

All is not lost… Throw a Logman on it:

This one will be finished soon. Stay tuned for updates.

Oooh. And check out next week’s Llog Blog where LMI will attempt to paint like Caravaggio. That should work out even better!

In other Logman News, Logman Industries Intl designed and printed a poster for INTERNATIONAL CLASH DAY 2018! It was a few months ago, but it was on display at KEXP in Seattle, WA for a few months. It might still be there. Here is a photo of one of the botched prints. (“INT’L” is what it should say.) Thanks to INDEPENDENCE PRINTAGE for making the prints go!

Regarding Paul Hogan: He is NOT the richest man in Australia. Logman Reps were at a recent fantasy football draft and mentioned that Paul Hogan was still rich from the CROCODILE DUNDEE movies and were viciously, verbally attacked for suggesting that he was the RICHEST man in Australia. Well, he’s not. And the FFL team picked that night is 0-3. Whatever.

Okay, to current issues… Yesterday (Saturday 9/22) one of our LMI representatives was on a construction site and, thinking that there was no one else on the site, walked up to the HONEY BUCKET and opened the UNLOCKED DOOR. To the LMI rep’s SEVERE DISMAY, there in the temporary toilet stood a giant bearded man with a parka on with his sweat pants down to the ground. Full frontal nudity. The affected LMI Rep also reported that “it didn’t smell good either.”

Thank you for returning to the LLOG BLOG and please check us out next week for more news from the forefront of the cutting edge of the art/culture industry. LOGMAN INDUSTRIES!

(Also, follow @logmanindustries on Instagram. It’s fun. We promise. We guarantee it.)

Be cool and have a Loggy Week!*

*we are still contractually obligated to say that.

LLOG BLOG #24: You like LEGOS? Try LOGGOS! / May 15, 2017 by Matt Everett

Happy belated Arbor Day 2017 (4-28). Awesome!

Log in and buckle your safety belt, because we here at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: LLOG BLOGG AND SOCIAL MEDIA DIVISION are taking it to a NEW LEVEL this week.

First, you've been seeing a lot from Jam Davis on the Monday Instagram posts, but here is some other cat cartoon stuff about town:

Also Crappy Garfield: Thanks Cha Cha Lounge in Seattle's Capital Hill neighborhood for posting this.

Thanks for the send in ShrimpyTrash! Rumor has it that a later frame shows Alf giving Garfield "services." Good stuff.

Thanks SeattleMatt for the send-in. It's hard to believe that you still haven't been able to sell even one of these.

Frickin A, though... Check this out:

This drawing inspired by EVERYTHING today. Well, tomorrow will probably be better, right?

Let's turn it around and feature these special items:

That's just great. How about this one:

That one is HIGH QUALITY ART! YES!

Do you like stamps? How about these stamps?

Speaking of good art!...

Nice Crab blob.

Okay, that's it for this week. Check LMi out on Instagram blah blah blah.

Have a loggy week.*

*Legally obligated to say that since 1983! WHAM!

LLOG BLOG #23: When I'm back on my feet again: the return of the llog. / April 30, 2017 by Matt Everett

Welcome Back, LOGMAN INDUSTRIES! One might ask, "WHERE IN THE SAM-SHIT HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!"

Well, I'll tell you where. Europe.

Anyway, we would be totally remiss if we weren't to honor the most famous Chicagoan on earth attached to the number 23...

Danny Logbarn.  Go, Danny!  Go! — Danny Logbarn. Go, Danny! Go!

It's been awhile, so let's catch up really quickly:

That is a free couch, currently available just outside of the LMI: Seattle Creative Offices headquarters. Then there is this:

Kale Face! Kale Face.  It's not about a celery, it's all about reality. — Kale Face! Kale Face. It's not about a celery, it's all about reality.

And you must catch up on this:

Jam's office will be posting an instagram of Crappy Garfield every Monday for the year 2017... or until LMI gets sued. We promise that they will be better than this one. Whatever. Check it out on Instagram at @logmanindustries.com. You won't be displeased.

And let's get you some LOG ART STAT:

Pumpkin Head Logman.  Not scary. — Pumpkin Head Logman. Not scary.

Pumpkin Logman + weaponry.  Scarier. — Pumpkin Logman + weaponry. Scarier.

1978 Burt Reynolds Thursday rock: Very Scary.

you couldn't pay me to sit here.  #Scariest doll in the world. — you couldn't pay me to sit here. #Scariest doll in the world.

Sorry we don't have time to writ a whole lot this week. LMI is very busy trying to roll out the new LOGMAN INDUSTRIES SPRING LINE of log-based stuff that our creative writing and online media dept just doesn't have much time for this.

Next week we will though... so check it out next week. You'll be happier than a UNI-WHEELER wheeling past GRUMPY D'S!

Have fun and don't be an asshole this week. Get on Instagram and look at @logmanidustries. Screw Twitter. We don't do anything good on there anyway.*

*Just kidding Twitter. We love you.

Okay. that is officially it for LB#23. Be cool and have a loggy week.**

**We are contractually obligated to say this.

Logman Industries